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I hit a duck
Three golfing partners died in a car wreck and went to heaven. Upon
arrival they discover the most beautiful golf course they have ever
seen.
St. Peter tells them that they are all welcome to play the course, but
he cautions them that there is only one rule: Don’t hit the ducks
during your first three months here. The men all have blank
expressions, and finally one of them asks, “The ducks?”
“Yes”, St. Peter replies, “There are thousands of ducks walking around
the course, and if one gets hit, he quacks, then the one next to him
quacks and soon they’re all quacking to beat the band.
It really breaks the tranquility, and If you hit one of the ducks,
you’ll be punished, Otherwise everything is yours to enjoy. ”
Upon entering the course, the men noted that there were indeed large
numbers of ducks everywhere. Within fifteen minutes, one of the guys
hit a duck. The duck quacks, the one next to it quacked and soon here
was a deafening roar of duck quacks.
St. Peter walked up with an extremely homely woman in tow and asks,
“Who hit the duck?” The guy who had done it admitted, “I did. ”
St. Peter immediately pulled out a pair of handcuffs and cuffed the
man’s right hand to the homely woman’s left hand. “I told you not to
hit the ducks,”, he said. Now you’ll be handcuffed together for
eternity. ”
The other two men were very cautious not to hit any ducks, but a
couple of weeks later, one of them accidentally did. The quacks were
as deafening as before, and within minutes St. Peter walked up with an
even uglier woman. He cuffed the man’s right hand to the homely
woman’s left hand. “I told you not to hit the ducks,” he said; “Now
you’ll be handcuffed together for eternity. ”
The third man was extremely careful. Some days he wouldn’t even play
for fear of even nudging a duck. After three months, he still hadn’t
hit a duck. St. Peter walked up to the man at the end of the three
months, and had with him a knock-out, gorgeous woman – the most
beautiful woman the man had ever seen. St. Peter smiled at the man and
then, without a word, handcuffed him to the beautiful woman and walked
off. The man, knowing that he would be handcuffed to this woman for
eternity, let out a contented sigh and said aloud, “I wonder what I
did to deserve this?
The woman responds, “I don’t know about you, but I hit a duck.”